


It's the Great Pumpkin, Damian Wayne

by damthosefandoms



Series: The Rugrats Club AU [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Batman: Streets of Gotham (Comics), DCU (Comics), Gotham Academy (Comics), Robin: Son of Batman (Comics)
Genre: Damian has friends and he’s happy bc fuck dc comics amirite, Friendship, Gen, Halloween Costumes, Humor, I don't know how to tag this, Sort Of, You really don’t have to read the other fics in the series to read this, also damian has 4 percent magic blood omg, and what happened to a certain main character that should NOT have happened, but they're there anyway so read them, damian wayne secretly likes candy okay don't listen to what he says, dick is a bad influence, he's a sparkly magic princess, or ideas for them at least, pre-halloween shenanigans!, righteous judgement of the divergent series, that author knew exactly what she was doing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26668879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damthosefandoms/pseuds/damthosefandoms
Summary: Maps, Colin, and Damian discuss important matters such as Young Adult literature, Halloween costumes, and exactly what percentage of anime girl magic lurks in Damian's blood.
Relationships: Alfred the Cat & Damian Wayne, Damian Wayne & Colin Wilkes, Damian Wayne & Colin Wilkes & Mia “Maps” Mizoguchi, Mia "Maps" Mizoguchi & Damian Wayne
Series: The Rugrats Club AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870681
Comments: 5
Kudos: 47





	It's the Great Pumpkin, Damian Wayne

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! it's destiny hacking into julie's account again!! (she gave me permission i promise i'm just being a helpful gremlin)
> 
> edit: I (Julie) did give her permission and also I wanna say that there may or may not be a second chapter of this depending on if I survive this semester of school or not lmao. I have a concept for the actual Halloween thing but no actual ideas but I have until the end of October to figure it out. ANYWAY HAPPY FALL AND ALSO Damian’s opinions on ya lit in this are completely based on my opinions of books I was head over heels obsessed with in middle school circa 2012-2014 so yeah. ok bYE HAVE FUN READING

“You two are never allowed to recommend a series to me ever again,” Damian said in lieu of welcoming his friends into the manor. He shut the door behind them.

“‘Hi, guys! Welcome to the Manor, guys!’” Maps mocked him, shaking out her umbrella. It had been pouring outside all day. Damian had planned to take his friends on a trip to the zoo, but _no._ No, it had to downpour instead and now they were stuck inside the Manor until further notice. Gotham was a terrible place to live if you liked spending time outdoors. “Hello to you too, Damian.”

Colin took off his jacket and hung it up on the coat rack. “Sorry about the zoo, Damian. I know you were excited.”

Damian shrugged and crossed his arms as they walked up to the library. “That doesn’t matter; I can get my father or one of my brothers to take us another time. I have _other_ issues with you two at the moment.”

Colin looked directly at Maps. “I _told_ you not to make him read it! What’d I tell you? I told you he’d get mad!”

“A guy got stabbed with a butterknife, Colin, I figured he’d find that _interesting._ Sue me!” 

She dropped down onto a couch in the library. Damian’s cat, Alfred, was curled up on the arm of the couch, fast asleep—but not for long. Damian picked up the cat and cradled him in his arms as he took his own seat on the couch facing Maps. Colin sat down next to him. 

“I might take you up on that, Mia,” Damian said, “or I’ll just sue the author herself. Who kills off their main character? That’s terrible writing.” 

“Oh, I agree completely,” Maps said, not even bothering to try to convince Damian to use her nickname. She gave up on that months ago. “I mean, they could’ve done it so much better too, like, giving Tobias a point of view in the third book in the trilogy? And you think we’re not going to go in expecting something to happen to Tris?”

Colin nodded. “Yeah! Like, if she really wanted to make it a surprise, why bother switching the point of view? Just have the book end with Tris’ death. Put an epilogue at the end from Tobias’ point of view—”

“—or just write from both of their perspectives to begin with,” Damian finished for him. “I’m convinced the author only did it for shock value.”

“That’s so stupid,” Maps said, leaning back on the couch. “Shock value can be done well, but it almost never is. Like how they tried to make Captain America a hydra agent in the comics. It was just stupid.”

“Speaking of Captain America,” Damian said, stroking his cat’s head like he was some sort of supervillain, “Have either of you made plans for Halloween?” 

_“You’re_ asking us?” Maps said, incredulously. 

“Yes. So, what are you doing this weekend?”

Colin shrugged. “I’ll probably be handing out candy this year. The nuns at the orphanage don’t really like Halloween, but they do let us dress up at the very least. Keeps everyone’s spirits up, or whatever.”

“Oh! What are you going as?” Maps asked, bouncing in her seat. “Colton and I are trying to get the rest of the Detective Club to dress up as the Scooby Gang this year. We already solve mysteries all the time, so it’s perfect!”

“I’m not sure yet. Probably a vampire or something, ‘cause the dollar store down the road from the orphanage sells fake teeth. It’s quick and easy. What about you, Damian? What are you going to be?”

“Be? Oh, you mean what am I going to dress up as?” Damian asked. Both kids nodded. 

“Timothy suggested that I dress up like a character from _Star Trek._ He says I should be a ‘red shirt.’ I don’t really understand it, but Father told him to cut it out after—what’s so funny?” Damian crossed his arms and glared at his friends.

“Jason laughed when Timothy suggested it as well. He said that he’d be a ‘red shirt’ too. What exactly am I missing here?” Alfred the cat jumped up off Damian’s lap as he stood up angrily.

“It’s nothing,” Maps said, still laughing. 

Colin grinned. “I think it’s a great costume idea, Damian.” 

Damian sighed. “It had better be a good one.” He turned around and knelt back on the couch, looking over the back of it for his cat. 

“Part of why I brought this up was because Richard’s making me go trick-or-treating with Jon and the other kids. I was hoping I could make plans with you two now and get out of it. Although, if you’re both busy, I suppose I’ll just suffer alone.” 

“Trick-or-treating isn’t _that_ bad,” Colin said. “You get free candy. What kid doesn’t like candy?”

Damian turned and raised his eyebrows at his friend. 

“Oh, don’t even try, Damian. I know you keep a bag of skittles in your backpack during school. I’ve seen you picking at it during class.” Maps said, causing Damian to blush.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never eaten sugar in my life.”

“You lived with Dick Grayson for almost an entire year when you first came to Gotham,” Colin pointed out. “You told me that he once ate Cap’n Crunch for every meal he had for like, three days straight.”

“That’s irrelevant,” Damian muttered. He sat back down, having given up on the search for his cat. “The point is that I now have to spend the entire night with a bunch of kids.”

“Hate to break it to you, buddy, but _you’re_ a kid. So are Colin and I.”

“You two aren’t children, you’re both thirteen. That makes you teenagers.” 

“You say that as if you’re not a teenager,” Colin said. “Wait, are you—how old _are_ you, Damian?”

Maps tilted her head in confusion. “Yeah, you never told me when your birthday is. Are you thirteen yet?”

Damian sank back into the couch. “Birthdays aren’t important,” he said. “I don’t like to celebrate mine.”

“That’s not an answer,” Colin said, crossing his arms. “When were you born, Damian?”

Damian sighed. “You both have to swear not to make a big deal out of it. I’m being serious.”

They both nodded. 

“I turn thirteen on Saturday. The thirty-first.”

_“Oh,”_ Maps said. “Oh, you are _really_ lucky I don’t like breaking promises.”

“It’s oddly fitting, actually,” Colin laughed. “You’re spooky enough that it makes sense.”

“Gee, thanks.” 

“You know, sometimes in movies people who are born on Halloween get cool powers ‘cause of it,” Maps added. “You’re not hiding any cool, spooky ghost powers, are you?”

Damian shrugged. “Not as far as I’m aware. Not from being born on a holiday, at least.” 

Both of Damian’s friends looked directly at him. 

“What the ever-loving crap does _that_ mean?” Maps said, and she was giving Damian that same look she had after he’d handed her a grapple gun that one time. Or when he showed her Wayne Manor’s armory. Or that time that he, oh, you know, told her he was Robin and she almost passed out because she was so excited.

Colin looked a little more concerned, but to be fair, he also knew a lot more about Damian’s past than most of his other friends.

“I…may or may not have magical properties to my blood.” Damian looked anywhere but at them as he spoke. “It’s nothing special.”

_“YOU HAVE MAGIC POWERS AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?”_ Maps stood up, screaming at him. Colin jumped back, startled.

“Shh!” Damian motioned for her to sit down. “I’m not really magical. I’m like, four percent magical. Not enough to make an impact.”

“‘Four percent magical,’” Colin deadpanned. “What does that even mean?”

“It’s not exactly magic, okay? It’s hard to explain to someone who can’t…who isn’t part of that side of my family,” Damian said. He turned to glare at Maps. 

“And my family _here_ doesn’t know about it, so I’d _really_ prefer it if you _didn't scream it out loud for the whole world to hear!”_

Maps nodded excitedly and motioned for him to explain. Even Colin looked interested; he’d heard a lot of stories from Damian about his past, but never this. 

“It’s got something to do with the Lazarus pits, right?” Colin asked. “I remember you mentioned that your brother came back to life with one. And you said that your grandfather uses them to stay immortal.”

“Well, Jason wasn’t actually…” Damian shook his head. That wasn’t something they needed to know. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that people thought the pit could’ve brought Jason back to life. It only worked like that if you were an al Ghul; but everyone seemed perfectly fine to explain Jason’s resurrection away like that.

If Jason wasn’t going to tell their family that he’d been alive before Damian’s mother had thrown him in the pit, then Damian wasn’t going to tell them either. Some things were better left unsaid.

“It’s a very long story, but the only relevant detail is that my blood once got Maya and myself into the heart of an active volcano. It’s really complicated.” Damian shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t like talking about it.”

It was quiet for a few seconds. Then…

“Maybe you should dress as Harry Potter for Halloween instead.” Colin suggested. Maps’ eyes lit up.

“Oh my _god, please_ dress up as Harry Potter, Damian, I’m _begging you—”_

“I never even read that series and I don’t plan on reading it in the future,” Damian said. “I’m not dressing up as him.”

“Then you should dress up as Percy Jackson instead!” Maps said, and Damian looked back at her. 

“Maybe I should.”

**Author's Note:**

> hmmmm you all seemed to get a kick out of my canadian bacon debate last time so........comment with a description of how you prefer to sit in a chair in a way that is not the normal way. i'll go first, if my legs are not hanging off the armrest like a monkey lounging belly-down on a tree branch I Cannot Function 
> 
> (but also comment on the fic too or julie will cry for the seventh time this week but not over school this time what a shocker)


End file.
